Survival of the Mundane
Keitlyn Alcantara
There will be a time when this is the past. When we look back on this moment as The Virus, the way that we look back on the epidemics that ravaged the New World 500 years ago. I think about this and wonder how many mundane moments have been lost to history. I think about this as I look out my window at a beautifully dreary spring rain, the new leaves who have heard nothing of the virus, peeking out their velvety faces to greet the day. I think about this as I sip my coffee, the calm within the storm. How panic and anxiety can live, a constant hum surrounding us, seeping into our immune systems, turning our stomach linings acidic, our neck muscles into tightropes, and yet….. there is a reason that we are still here, a human species. Sure, it probably in large part has to do with our misguided confidence in our ability to conquer All The Things.
But I also believe that it has to do with our capacity to hold conflicting, complex truths all at once.
To cry one moment, in terror that you might not get to see your elderly (they will hate me for using that term….. elderly adjacent?) parents before they are stricken down by a virulent illness while you watch from a distance, impotent. And just as quickly, to notice the comedy of two birds trying to get it on — well technically, ONE bird trying to get it on, the other blatantly rejecting the advances. To receive endless messages of love and support from friends, sometimes so many messages that I have to step away, to be alone, to remember that this grief and conflict will not be solved by filling all the possible empty spaces with others, but by learning to trust in myself.
In all this chaos, there are many moments where I am O.K. There are moments where I do not need to be planning for the million future directions that this could go.
Moments where today is absurdly normal. Wake up. Brush your teeth. Probably put on deodorant. In many ways, survival is not about the heroic[1]. It is not about making the exact right choices, being perfectly informed by reading every single minute-by-minute news update[2].
Survival is finding the spaces where you still exist, where you can breathe and let down walls for a moment (fight or flight mode: DEACTIVATE).
Ironically, survival isn’t about “Survival” in the “Capital S” desert island with a palm-frond hut and hand carved spear reality TV way. It’s about continuing to be alive, in the multiple-emotion-embarrassingly-hot-mess way. It is about staring out the window at squirrels, curling up for a moment with Too Many Thoughts, stress cooking magnificent meals, and with these acts, rebelliously carrying on. For no other reason than YOU ARE STILL HERE, to create and enjoy these mundane moments of magic.
